Saturday, June 15, 2013

Hell and Back, Apollo- hints and tips (ish)

The Mudslingers just after finishing.  Hurray!

A quick breakdown after today's race;

1)      “The Ditch of Doom” at 150m- A great big mucky ditch- get your leaping legs on!

2)      “Ski Jump” at 1km- Sit down and start sliding... Wheeeeee!!!

3)      “The Rock & Ice Baths of Siberia” at 1.5km- Complete submersion here, folks!  Hold your breath... 

4)      “Sniper Alley” at 2.2km-  OUCH!!!  Nobody gets through without getting hit, so be prepared and run like hell! ;)

5)      “Purgatory” at 3km-  Plenty of fabulous obstacles and sloppy slidy mud... Niceeee...

6)      “Boggy Hollow” at 3.7km- What seemed like an endless track of quite deep boggy mud.  take a deep breath and run straight through... No shortcuts here I'm afraid!

7)      “Slimy Swamp of Perdition” at 4.3km- This is disgusting.  Full stop.  Fabulously disgusting.  :).  Quit your whining and throw yourself in and when you get stuck, take help graciously- and when your out- GIVE a bit of help back.  Darren & Eamon excelled in this area. ;) 
Darren & Eamon- Superheros extraordinaire and Hell & Back Apollo survivors

8)      “Satan’s Sewer” at 4.7km- This is, in fact, quite sewer-like.  hold thy nose and crawl crawl crawl.  ;)

9)      “The River of Acheron” at 5.1km- Wading through 5ft waters, ropes, more water... Throw yourself in & keep moving along.  Quite a cooling pleasant experience. :)

10)   “Hurdles of Hell” at 5.35km- If I recall correctly- 3 double bale towers to clamber up and over.  Have fun. Hahahaha.

11)   The Abyss” at 6km- a snaking track of doom through the forest.  Keep the momentum up here and you will be out before you know it.  Kind of... Watch your ankles- lots of uneven ground.  OOH- cool pipe slide somewhere in all of this- go head first! :) 

12)   “Burn baby Burn” at 7.5km- Hill climb, descent. Pain & worth walking.  Don't kill yourself running here- you will just burn yourself out & won't really make much ground anyway.  Run downhill though... :)

13)   “Hades Horrors” at 8.8km-block carry, sandbag carry and thankfully the water... Ouch!

NIGHTMARE ON HELL STREET at 11.3km. (Yes, this is a spectator area...:) )

14)   “Log Carry”- Big enough bloody logs!  Crikey!

15)   “Barbed wire crawl”- Yes, Head and ass down, crawl crawl crawl.  Not too bad though given that the ground was good and dry.   

16)   Lucifer’s Log Jam”- A succession of Tree trunk obstacles.  Up, through, under... kinda tiring...

17)   “Crawl net”- Handy tip, head to the floor, ass up and crawl like a mofo. :):
18)   “Return to Siberia”- Yes, yes- these are giant freezing pools ensuring a good submersion before the finish...

19)   “Shock of Horrors”- A lengthy section of Electrical wire with, you guessed it, an obstacle of two hay bales in the middle of it.  If you can, run, throw yourself over the hay and keep moving- FAST, outta there.  They've upped the voltage since Trojan.  Not only do these zap you, they click!  Nasty!  (There was much screaming from my lung- and much laughter from the spectators...)
20)   “Ten Foot Tessie”- OMG.  Wall???  This is more like a skyscraper.  This is really really tough.  VERY high (over 10ft id say) and very smooth so there is nothing really to climb up with.  You really need the help of your fellow Hellraisers here, so be nice and whoosh a butt or two over before getting whooshed yourself.  :)  I luckily had my team there to torpedo me over.  Note- its also quite narrow so careful you don't get your foot stuck at the top on the way down and inadvertently do the boxer splits *whistles & looks around innocently*
21)   “Mount Olympus”- Far from Hay bales- this WAS and epic challenge.  This was a VERY high sloped wall that you had to run up and climb the final section.  They put out ropes after a while, but OMG, nasty tough.  You need a good run at this so stand back and take turns!  :) 

At 12km- Down the super steep and fast slide to a monumental FINISH! 

A huge thanks to all of the Hell & Back organisers for a superb course.  The place looked fantastic and the facilities were amazing, for both racers and spectators.  Bravo.

I REALLY enjoyed this one to be honest.  Ill be back to blog again, but right now, (We are literally just home after the 3.5 drive  home from Bray) I must collapse in a heap on the ground and sleep.

Best of luck to everyone racing tomorrow.  You will LOVE it!  :)


  1. Jaysus Jen,

    This reminds me of many a trip to Bray, too - but we didn't have no stinkin' official race... we were just chasing the poor fella in the Chipper van before we walked home 'cos we had no feckin' money left :)

    1. Apologies for the late reply, Mark! I just spotted this now... LOL. You must miss Bray- it was a tough decision whether to leave for Hawaii in fairness. :)


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